Pardon me.

I must have a fucked up perception of what friendship is.
I've been there when your sister has pissed you off and you needed someone to rant to. I've done that a few times.
I've been there for your pregnancy scare. When you were down because your BF isnt able to love you.
I've been there for 2 emotional breakdowns, stayed on the phone with you for hours as you screamed and cried.
I've been on the phone with you when your yard was on fire and you were freaking out.
I put up the abuse you use to do to be everyday. The actual scares may have disappared but I remember.
I've been there for break-ups.
I stayed the night with you on your last 2 birthdays.
Been an ear to listen. Been reliable.
For you to turn and talk about me behind my back.
I know you both are doing it.
I cannot help feeling some things.
I am soo fucking sorry that my life cant be rainbows and sunshine all the goddamn time.
But you cannot say that I have been "emo" when we hang out. I try, hard. I try to be upbeat and you guys are always pessimistic!
No matter what I do!! I always try to get you to look on the bright side but you always disregaurd everything I say.
I may rant or talk to you, because I feel I can trust you.
So now here is where I apologize.
Sorry for putting too much value on what you think and say.
Sorry for putting you on the top of my list and holding you close.
Sorry for being human and hurting sometimes.
Sorry for thinking you cared more than you do.
Sorry for expecting you to understand when clearly you don't.
Sorry for thinking "best friends" meant something.
Sorry for loving more than you love me.
Sorry for sharing too much of my life with you.
Sorry for letting you walk all over me this long, I should have grew a back bone.
Sorry for being such a burden.

You're free. Don't worry about me. Don't think of me.
Just go on and pretend I was a dream.
Because after all I've been through with you means nothing anymore.
Oh and thank you.
Thank you for making me feel like I mean nothing.
Thank you for making me feel unwanted.
Thank you for making me feel unloved.
Because when I needed you the most you left me.
Acted as if I didn't exsist and let me suffer alone.