Could I feel worse?

Ok so I hate life.
Just getting out there and open.
I hate almost everything right now.
My dogs are destroying shit again.
The great news the latest things ruined in the carpet behind the couch.
Skye has torn a whole in the carpet.
Awesome. So I call to let Mom know. BAD.
So since I didnt get off work til almost midnight the dogs were left in the cages for almost 2 hours. So its all my fault.
It was my fault that 5 for 5.95 Tuesday at Sonic was actually busy.
It was my fault that since it was so busy I got nothing done til 10 on the dot.
Then we had to wait for Bi Lo(Alex) to get done.
He is the slowest worker ever.
SO I am to blame and have to help Mom pay for the repairs now.
I wouldnt have a problem with it normally but its the fucking way she said it.
She can be such a bitch sometimes.
I hate feeling depressed.
No one at work takes work seriously so it makes me not want to work as hard as I use to.
Therefore I feel like I am working hard to get nowhere and accomplish shit.
That makes all the work I have done worthwhile. NOT.
Then I cant pay attention to class because I believe I might fail all of them.
SUCKS.
How can I be positive when everything seems to be going wrong?
My sleep pattern is waaaaay off.
It is 2 am and I am not even close to tired.
I have to be at school at 8 am.
I might just not sleep at all tonight.
I might nap. But I dont know.
I want to move to the UK.
Ciao.

Oh how things suck.

So my face hasn't fully healed yet.
I oozed real bad today.
And I feel like the biggest failure on Earth.
I dropped my English class Thursday. I was failing it and they said I wouldn't have to pay any of the loan back.
So as I do this my thoughts and people telling me that my reasons seem to be my own laziness.
I hate how lazy I am.
I hate feeling like a failure at anything.
My face doesn't help my self esteem any.
I want to act so so bad and now I know two-TWO-people with connections and my face isn't giving me a break.
This is fucking fabulous. I want to be in a movie or a commercial, or just do something I wont fail at!!
School just lowers my esteem with every "F" grade I get.
I am starting to believe that thier isn't any hope for me.
This thing on my face will last forever, I will be too dumb to make it through college and I will forever be working fast food.
I am destined to be invisible. To go unnoticed by hardly anyone.
Bills are coming close to being late.
I just am not happy here.
I just don't wanna fail anymore.
Por sempre Guasto.

Getting Better!

Yay! I am almost cured!
As you can see my face looks so much better! Yesterday at work it began to flake so I might have peeled some off to speed the process up. C=
I am just glade that this isnt going to stick with me or scar my face.
So its Wednesday and I have been told to be on a cleaning mission.
Mom got bitchy yesterday because I slept in until 1 and did hardly anything to the apartment.
She continued to bitch about my room and how she wanted me to unpack and that it looks like shit. Oh and that their is a strange smell that comes from my room that only she can smell.
So I am going to be doing massive amounts of laundry and baking brownies.
I feel like a housewife.
In my defense on hardly doing anything around the house, she comes home before the time that she tells me. Yesterday she said she would be home by 4. LIES. She called at nearly 3 and said she was getting a tea from Sonic and coming home. Now if I woke up at 1:30ish that gave me only an hour or so. I unloaded the dishwasher and loaded it again and whipped down the counters. I put some trash in the garbage.
Not what she wanted me to do apparently.
On a happier note!
Sarah was texting me yesterday! I havent talked to her in almost 2 weeks now, I was getting worried. I asked her if she wanted to go see The Watchmen friday and she said yes!
I told her if Kelly and Bobby wanted to come they could.
I am going to ask Chris and John to go but I dont know if they can.
I hope they can! I miss being with friends.
Being out here in bumfuck Red Bank where I am 40 odd miles away from everyone SUCKS.
I know its not literally 40 something miles but still.
I hate being so far from the people I want to see.
Well I guess I better get started on the cleaning.
FYI My mother just called to see if I was wake.
She kills me.....
Ciao bellas!

Earth Hour

Ok so as we all know, or may not know, I am big on trying to go "green".

I love the Earth and I refuse to litter. And I am going to be seeing if recycling comes around my neighborhood.

Well on March 28th from 8:30pm to 9:30 pm Earth Hour takes place. Which means you turn everything off and you sit in the dark or by the light of a candle.

MY plans are to sit under the stars and think.

I want to use this time to think of things I want to do, and things that should be most important to me.

I am making Mom turn everything off so I might have to stay inside to keep her from doing anything that would involve turning something on.

Might ask her to take me to the Park.

Hm.

Well we have 17 more days until Earth Hour so I can sort out the details later.

Ok so tell me what you might be doing for Earth Hour to give me some ideas.

Ciao bellas!

My Face.

This is the curse that has tortured me for over three weeks now.
My face itches and I am not allowed to touch it. Cant put anything on it, that I know of.
If anyone from Freshman year of High School is reading this and remembers that week or so when I came to school with a whole side of my face like this it is back!
The Doc said it was either a open pimple or a cut shaving that got infected when I slopper when I sleep. And since I dont wash my face often it got infected and is not spreadable.
So I feel like a freak.
I dont like going anywhere.
I am out of the meds he told me to take.
And I thought it was getting better! Apparently not.
So Mom told me about this lady at her work who has something like mine, but its like 3 times worse, and it never goes away.
What if this never goes away??
My dreams will be crushed!
I cant act in movies, or commercials with this on my face!
I could sing and just wear a mask, you know as a gimmich (sp?).
BLEH!
It hurts to smile with this bugger on my face.
Its dry and I want to submerg it in water.
On a more pleasant note I watched the movie "Syndey White" at 3 am last night!
It was an awesome movie!! I loved that the dorks beat the "prettty princess" and all that jazz.
I just loved that movie.
Well I am going to go and try and not think about my face.
Ciao bellas!

Randomness

Ok so today was a much better day.
I got the Cash Cash CD "Take It To The Floor" and it is amazing!
Its kind of like Kill Hannah mixed with Cobra Starship.
I love it!
And the best part the CD was only ten bucks!!
So it went right on my Zune. I am even thinking of removing Breaking Benjamin from my wall and replacing Cash Cash in its place.
For those who dont know: I took every album cover I have tore it off the music booklet and put them in alfabetical order around my closet door frame. It looks amazing.
I cannot wait for the Fall Out Boy concert!
I havent been this excited since HCT.
Thats Honda Civic Tour...
I might have a poem or a song tomorrow...
Hopefully.
So anyway I am going to go...read Harry Potter....again.
I am bored, so I dont know what to do.

"Working late it never stops. I-I-I'll be your electric shock, and with a song I'll have your heart."
Cash Cash "Radio"

FYI I keep typing Cash Cash as Cas Cash but catch myself.
Just thougt that was funny.
Ciao bellas!