See Me?

I swore I would not write another sad song.

I swore that good times would come along.

But it seems to be getting harder now

And I dont think I can go on now

I'm sorry for all the bad times I brought you.

I'm sorry I could never be all the way true.

Is it too much to tell me that I'm okay

Is it too much to say I love you today?

Cause I feel so invisible.

The pain I feel when I let you down

Is so much worse than the pain of this town

You have no idea how I could tell

Everyday I wish I was someone else

I'm so sorry for all the bad times I brought you

I'm sorry I could never be all the way true.

Love me please just tell me that I matter.

You keep on making me even more sadder.

And I feel so invisible.

I cry myself to sleep when I make you mad.

This torture keep just makes me more sad.

I made a wish upon a star tonight

Let me be someone else in life

I'm so sorry for all the bad times I brought you.

I'm sorry I could never be all the way true.

Maybe my wish it finally coming to be

Because it seems like no one can see me.

Can you see me?

I dont know if most people know how much I hate myself.

I mess up all the time and end up crying.

And no one tells me I am good enough.

I havent heard "I love you Kyle" in so long.

Am I good?

I am worth anything?

I just want to be happy.

I wish I could love who I am but I just cant.

So why do I expect anyone else to?

My Curse.

Sorry for all the cursing ahead of time.

FUCK.
I hate life. Not going to lie.
I fucking hate letting people down. I hate being the annoying person.
What I hate most of all is the fucking curse I called a gift.
I am a empath.
It sucks soooo bad right now. Flares always happen and I accidently go too indepth with people and they dont even know.
Lately I have been feeling every emotion EVERYONE is having around me.
Its amplfying me and there is NO ONE who wants to listen to me.
So here I am talking into this blog.
I cannot tell you how painful it is to know what everyone feels about you.
People you thought you were cool with that really are annoyed with you.
At first I thought it was a bad day for these certain people but its been well over a week.
Everyone seems to want me to disappear. They are annoyed with me and pissy and its making me pissy.
And what is hurting me the most is that my two best friends arent talking to me for some reason.
If I need a good break I can call them up and their emotions are usually claim and relaxing.
But right now I am in the house with my Mom and she is pissy and its making me pissy.
I dont have training to block myself.
Sarah is the only one I know of who could train me but she is super busy.
School is stressing my out and making me antsy and pissy then combined with everyone's pissy moods its making me Pissed to the extreme.
And I hate it.
I started to talk to my boss DeeDee about empathy and said one of my friends has it but I think she knows.
I think this because her mood is always careful and cautious. Like she is nervous. And when she feels something I have noticed her looking at me then that nervous catious feeling comes back.
Other people at work are raw with there emotions.
They feel there emotions and dont let go or change them. And sometimes it can take me over too.
I need a break. I need an escape.
I need my friends. I miss them.
Please dont hate me.
Ciao.